Loose Ends

Since creating this blog, I've chronicled not only the crazy antics from my boss, but also the "couldn't make this up if I tried" occurrences within the office itself.  Reading back through these posts has reminded me of a few things that I had managed to block out in order to continue spending 40 hrs/wk with this insanity.  At the same time though, I think that writing about all of this has been more therapeutic than anything else.  I still rant in the occasional Facebook status update, but this blog seems to provide the best possible outlet with much less fear of my HR department reading it.  

  Some highlights that didn't necessarily make it into the blog over the past 3 months: 

1) My boss began dating the co-worker who was responsible for picking up all of the bank deposits within the system.  This co-worker was terminated, her job was said to be in jeopardy, former co-worker sued our employer (still pending).  

2) We had a patient come into the office to be treated for the "common cold"--or so that's what she claimed when she called to schedule the appointment--but when she was speaking with the doctor in the exam room, the doctor could actually see her extremely bad case of head lice.  EEEEEWWWW!!!  I know.

3) Good example of my boss and her TMI tendencies being this recent convo:

          boss: "I'm so sore today."

          me (going against my better judgment): "Why are you sore?"

          boss: "Well, I was playing Twister with the kids last night.  It got really competitive, especially when it was me versus *insert her daughter's 16 yr old boyfriend's name here*." 

    Another EEEEWW-inducing story, but for totally different reasons, I know. 

 

  If all things go according to plan, I've got at least another 18 months working in this particular office.  I think I'm going to keep the blog up-to-date as long as I have the material to do so.  Thanks for reading!

Anything and Everything's an acronym today.  Blame it on texting if you want, but it's hard to even refer to the 3 letters used and abused by kids to grandmothers as shorthand.  We're the instant gratification generation, and it was only a matter of time before we simply decided we didn't have the time to utter "I don't know" which of course became Idk.  It's hard to keep up with the constant modifications, but virtually every person has at least seen one of the following: lol, omg, fml, wtf, idk, tbd, tba, etc. 



The acronym around my office that's creating some serious havoc as of late would be FMLA.   If you're unfamiliar with FMLA, it's the Family & Medical Leave Act passed in 1993.  It was passed, undoubtedly, with the intentions of allowing employees to have their jobs protected in the event of a personal crisis.  The idea was that if an unforeseen burden occurred, and you didn't have enough time off built up to cushion the fall then you could apply for FMLA and still have your job when you returned.  My boss did have a personal tragedy this past October.  She was understandably out of the office for a couple of weeks to sort everything out.  The catch now is that the rules that apply to everyone else do not seem to apply to her whatsoever.  Instead of just getting FMLA approved by her boss, somehow she managed to get INTERMITTENT FMLA for a yet to be determined amount of time.  Translation: she can now come into work for a couple of hours and then leave for the rest of the day to get her hair done and it's all covered by the policy.  I'm not judging her way that she's dealing with her personal crisis.  I'm saying that if there's a loophole, she clearly has found it.   It should be one way or the other, you either are back to work full-time or you get approved for FMLA and are still out of the office with someone else filling in your duties. 

Drug Rep vs Doctor

Here's your sign

 This may not be the very first thing you see if you were to walk into my office, but it's taped to the waiting room entrance/exit door to get your attention.  Yes, it's there because so many patients would stand in front of that door, and then were either hit by the door or by the person coming out that they still failed to acknowledge.  I have come to loathe this sign just on sight.  It represents everything that I cannot stand about my job as a whole.  I don't know about you, but I have a low tolerance for stupid.  I try to even use the word sparingly, because I think it's seriously over-used.  I can honestly say that I don't make it to 10 am before someone is hit by that door, and I'm left hitting my head against my desk. 

 

 Being a non-traditional college student, it's a common question for me to get asked just why I felt compelled to go back to school.  Yes, timing is everything, but it's also not a coincidence that I'm working where I am and here I am back in class trying to finish my degree.  Most physician's receptionists that I know, have been in this line of work for many years and I only managed for two years before I knew there needed to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  

 This week alone I've had a patient slam her book down on the counter, because I kept her waiting for 30 seconds while I was on the phone.  Oh and did I mention that in her day job she's a Nun?  Note to self: Do not ignore a Sister.   A couple hours later in the very same day, a patient wanted to show off her new tattoo.  She asked me if I wanted to see it, I said "No!", she pulled down her pants to reveal her lower hip until I would look in her direction.  It was of a 'flirty turtle' by the way, I have no idea, that's just what the 60 yr old woman called it.  That's only half the story, when she left the office, the exhibition queen insisted on lifting up her blouse to show the suspicious mole we were referring her to dermatology to remove.  Ever had this happen to you?  Trust me when I say, they don't pay me nearly enough to deal with this level of crazy/stupid. 



My Mondays happen twice/wk

My most dreaded day of any given work week isn't Monday.  I'm not a fan of Mondays by any means, but Wednesdays are much, much worse in my opinion.  Wednesdays are the day that I have to be "on", and that is exhausting just in itself.   This is the one and only designated day that my docs assign to see pharmaceutical reps.  I'm well aware that the majority of Americans assume that all physicians are catering to these companies every whim, but I assure you that my docs don't subscribe to that type of worship in any way, shape, or form.  In fact, exactly the opposite would be true in this particular case.  My docs treat these drug reps as if they were gum stuck to the bottom of their Birkenstock. 

I'm not sure if it's common knowledge or not, but just as a general rule, it's an unspoken job requirement that these pharmaceutical reps be a member of the "beautiful people".  It's almost as if every single Homecoming Queen and King that didn't make it to Hollywood post-graduation decided to go work for Pfizer instead.  It's the reps that are unaware (or better at acting as if they're unaware at least) of their gorgeousness that I find myself not having to pretend that I enjoy speaking with them.  Then there's the breed of drug rep that has obviously been told repeatedly how exceptionally good looking they are, but they have mistaken this trait for being charming.  I'm certain that their perfect physical appearance works to their disadvantage in my office. 

 Essentially I end up having to overcompensate for my doc's "abruptness", and be sickeningly sweet so that they will continue to bring samples for our patients that cannot afford their necessary medication.  I have warned reps against going back to get a signature on a particularly "tense" day, and those who ignored me have regretted it.   I have witnessed my docs walking past the rep patiently waiting for just a signature numerous times without even bothering to acknowledge their existence.  I have witnessed reps waiting for just a simple signature for over an hour, and holding up the line of reps waiting to be seen in the waiting room, only to see them finally wave the white flag and leave without the signature.  I have even seen my bully of a doc reduce a rep to tears over being "ill-prepared".  
  
Yes, there is a serious problem with the power that pharmaceutical companies have in this country.  Yes, these reps have huge salaries, and their medications have an astronomical mark-up.  I Googled "Doctors versus Pharmaceutical Reps", and found this very interesting article from Forbes Magazine.  All I'm saying is that I hate Wednesdays aka "Drug Rep Day", because I have to be a very specific false version of myself.  Do you have a day at work that you can't stand other than Monday?  Just about everyone hates Mondays.  What happens during this dreaded work day of yours?  Do you ever find yourself having to make up for your co-worker's shortcomings?

What's in a name?

Do you at least attempt to be politically correct in your everyday life?  As far as job titles are concerned, would you consider secretary to be past its expiration date?  Prior to being referred to as one on a regular basis, I used to think that the term secretary went out of style with beehives and cat eye glasses as seen in 9 to 5.  My other personal favorite being the '80s classic Working Girl, which I think anyone could appreciate for the "rooting for the underdog" theme. 

I couldn't be more wrong.  It's possible that I'm overly sensitive to the word itself, and that it's usage isn't meant to be offensive.  It's also just as possible that my feminist (which funnily enough, I don't find THAT word to be insulting at all even when it's intended to be) way of thinking is to blame. 

There are many things about my current job that I loathe beyond belief, and it's a fact that a pep talk is required to not walk out on a daily basis.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things, being called "just a secretary" in that all too familiar southern Missouri drawl is not the major issue of my work life.  It just feels as if it degrades all that I do in my office that I can guarantee others simply could not handle.  If there is one single thing that you take away from this post, remember to retire the word: Secretary.  Assistant is not only more politically correct, but it's more accurate as well. 

Flu shot makes me ill

 It was inevitable.  I got my flu shot last week, and so what happened this week???  I'm sick, of course.  Yes, I work in a doctor's office where it's just about impossible to not pick up the germs brought into the office on a daily basis.  There is definitely something to be said for working in that type of environment for any extended period of time, because you do build up a certain degree of immunity after awhile.  The catch this year??  Our employee flu vaccines were MANDATORY.    Now I have consented to receive the flu shot for the past few years, no questions asked.  This past summer, when it was announced that it was no longer an option to decline, that's when I started questioning if I really wanted it or not.  No, I'm not a nurse, but I still have enough patient contact to cause concern.  Just the fact that they hand me their wadded up, damp, dirty money when they check-in, that's reason enough to warrant getting the flu shot.  It's just that I, and I'm guessing most of you as well, don't like being told that I absolutely have to do something that was once upon a time my choice by the powers that be.  Those powers that be are all too aware that it's a climate out there where people are not going to be inclined to protest.  What happens if you refuse the flu shot?  Well, the least of it being you must wear a face mask until "flu season" expires, and the worst of it being that they will deem you to be unworthy of a merit increase next year.  I'm still somewhat shocked that no one has taken this to the local newspaper/TV news station.  It seems highly illegal to essentially require your employees to receive a vaccine.  Apparently, there's a very similar case over in South Carolina.  Food for thought.  So out of curiosity, do you get the flu shot every fall?  Why or why not?

The Middle-Aged & Clueless

Just prior to working in my current office, I worked for two female bosses that were completely opposite.  My previous office, had around 60 ppl, and was extremely cliquey.  One of my bosses there would not even bother to make eye contact with me if I said, "Good Morning".  The other was your classic back-stabber, earning your trust and then turning right around and betraying your confidence the mere moment she was given the opportunity.  It was like a breath of fresh air, when I began working in my current office, all of 2 years ago.  I remember thinking how nice it was that my boss treated me as a human being.  Sure, she seemed to talk excessively about her personal life, but I still gave her the benefit of the doubt.  I had only been working there a few weeks, when a fellow co-worker asked me if I had yet to notice how our boss could manage to make ANY topic about her.   I tested this theory by purposely chatting with my boss about the most random of topics, and sure enough, somehow we'd end up discussing her.  What really cracks me up is how totally oblivious she is in her one-sided conversations.  One would think that if all you were getting for feedback was the standard, "Yep." "Uh-huh." "Really?" that maybe the person isn't all that engaged.  I have also tried countless times to display as many non-interested non-verbal cues as possible, but nothing stops this woman from telling me things that I never wanted to know!!!!  Apparently surviving TMI has become such a popular issue that even the folks on EHow have created a how-to to handle it properly. 

Case of the Mondays

 If you Google "survival in the office", one of the top five hits will be the following article from New York Magazine.  I've been a fan of the American television show The Office since even before I began working in one full-time.   Despite all the cringe-worthy moments portrayed in the fictional series, it's still a great escape at the end of a busy week.  How does the clip below NOT help improve any "Case of the Mondays"???

Movie Mondays


Any opportunity I can possibly use to laugh off the insanity of my work life is my first choice of defense.  I've found that this automatic mood boost can be successfully achieved in several variations. It can be as simple as updating my Facebook status to a thinly veiled rant (that my boss being on my blocked list will never read) or just venting to my best friend in an after work phone call.  

Lately, it hasn't been so much TMI as it has been that she's NEVER there.  This may sound like a good thing, and that I'm complaining about nothing.   I realize that there are jobs out there where you can be your own boss and set your own hours, but my line of work is not one of them.  I can't decide if my boss' superior just simply doesn't care that she's never there or he's completely oblivious to just how much she's absent in any given week.   It's even come to the point where myself and the other nurses question if she's really attending these so-called "Manager's Meetings".  Prime example of her inability to show up at work being just this past Monday morning.   After leaving at 1 pm the Friday before to "run errands" (I wish I was kidding), she text messaged me the following Monday morning to tell me that her "car won't start".  It was a quarter past 10 when she finally made it in, blaming her 16 yr old daughter for leaving the lights on all night thus draining her battery.  I've been working in this doctor's office for two years now, and it's always something with this this lady and her bottomless bag of ridiculousness. 

 

My boss' TMI makes my ears bleed

In most office settings, there are boundaries.  Not in mine.  My boss treats me as if I'm her very own personal BFF/therapist/lap dog all rolled into one convenient package that also happens to work for her 40 hrs/wk.  I've only had the distinct pleasure of working for her for the past two years, but somehow it feels like twenty.  I've vented these stories to my close friends, and all reply with the same conclusion; I could easily fill a salacious, some might even label it vindictive in spirit, novel with her daily musings.  Ironically, my boss is constantly saying how SHE could write a memoir based on her crazy life experiences.   Names will be changed for obvious reasons, but the stories will remain the same.  It's been said that "truth is stranger than fiction", and truer words were never uttered in this case.